Moira and Kenna were snuggling on the couch last night and Kenna turned to Moira and said “will you just marry me and then we can live together forever?” Moira seriously considered the proposal and told her “I might want to marry someone else, but I’ll let you know.”
Moira and Kenna were out in the playroom chatting it up.
Moira (with a very authoritative tone): “You know Kenna, mummies are just dead people wrapped up in toilet paper.”
Kenna: “Why are they wrapped in toilet paper?”
We never did hear the answer because the initial “fact” was so darn funny!
We were driving home the other day and listening to the radio. Arizona has been running some really hard-core anti-meth ads. They usually start out with something along the lines of “I’ve been doing meth since I was …” Moira and Kenna were happily chatting in the very back row of our mini-van so I didn’t even think they were paying attention.
Then Moira got quiet and said loudly: “I’ve been doing math since I was 4.”
I nearly had to pull over I laughed so hard.
Innocence is awesome eh?
While unloading Moira’s backpack yesterday afternoon, I found a very neatly folded piece of paper wedged all the way into one of the pockets. She is known for folding her assignments that have been graded and are ready to take home…not sure why. So I unwrapped the thing and was delighted to find this funny little story.
The Assignment: Pp is for Pick
My teacher asked me to pick where I would like to sit today. If I could sit anywhere in the school, I would sit in the… (now starts Moira’s contribution)
techers laweng room, because I could drink sodea and take a nap and I would order a pizza and slepe here but I would bring my closs.
Starts off all pre-teen and ends like the normal, thoughtful 6 year old that she is. We asked her how she knew there was soda in the teacher’s lounge and she said there must be because the teachers disappear in there and come out with cans. I don’t even remember knowing there was a teacher’s lounge until I was much much older.
This kid cracks me up.
Moira’s school is conducting parent-teacher conferences this week which results in three (yes, three!) days of early release for the kids. Yesterday afternoon I was at school picking up Moira and a little buddy she had over for a playdate. As we were walking towards the sidewalk, their teacher walks by and says “Goodbye! I’m so jealous that you get to go home and play and I have to stay and work!”
Moira turns and looks at her and says (in the most WTF voice I’ve ever heard out of her): “Well, you’re getting paid money and we aren’t!”
I snorted and her teacher looked shocked. It was slightly rude, very hilarious, and totally out of character for her. Gotta admit, I loved it.
We’re walking around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve. Moira and Kenna were getting to that tired/wild/excited part of the night (plus the Christmas Eve factor) and were running in front of us checking out each and every house and its decorations. Moira was keeping up a running commentary on what she saw on each lawn.
Moira: “And this one has a reindeer, lights, Santa, some presents, oh – there’s a penguin and some trees.”
Me: “Are you going to give us a blow-by-blow of each house silly girl?”
Moira: “I like to give a blow.”
Robin (while snorting): “It’s blow-BY-blow.”
Moira: “I like just blow.”
While riding in the car a few afternoons back:
Moira (in full indignant outrage mode): “MOM! Kenna keeps commanding me!!”
Let me start off with two pieces of random information that are relevant to this quote.
1. Moira receives a weekly allowance. We debated about how to do it, when to do it, and how to explain it to her. Ultimately we quit debating and just did it. Much like many decisions in parenthood, we wanted to make sure we did the best we could by our kids. And since Moira is the oldest, she’s also the guinea pig. Long story short – she receives her age X $1 per week with no strings attached. Presently her allowance is $6 a week. Seems like a lot to old folks like me, but the point of her receiving allowance is to help her begin to understand how money works, how to save it, how to spend it, etc. If her allowance was so small she could do nothing with it (thanks inflation!), then really what was the point?
2. Moira has Citizen of The Household chores. She does these weekly because she is a member of the family. See – you thought we just gave her allowance and expected nothing in return eh? We opted not to tie the two directly mostly because I didn’t want to hear “That’s okay – I have enough money – I don’t want to do my chores this week.” She’s smart like that. The newest chore in Moira’s repertoire is emptying the dishwasher. This was Alan’s bright idea…I cringed thinking she was too young and having visions of shattered ceramic ware lying on our ceramic tile floor (trust me – when those babies break – they shatter spectacularly). I was dead wrong. Not only is she careful and attentive – she loves it!
The other night Alan let her know that the dishwasher was clean and ready to be emptied. He also mentioned that we owed her allowance and did she want it then or later?
Her exuberant response was this: “You mean I get my allowance AND I get to empty the dishwasher??” (said with a HUGE smile plastered on her face)
Even typing the words now – I think that has got to be the best thing to have ever come out of her mouth. Well, maybe besides “I love you Mommy!”
We’re eating dinner and talking about seeds that are in some fruits. Moira is eating purple grapes that claim to be seedless. She says that they have seeds in them. Alan tries one to see if the seeds are big enough to detect. Then we explain to Moira that all seedless fruits actually have seeds, they are just too small to taste or feel with your tongue.
Alan goes on to say that you just poop the seeds out. Jokingly I say “they only turn into plants sometimes”.
Moira immediately turns to me and says “it will if you eat dirt.”
